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I'm sorry I made it too obvious
I never intended for you to find out
Before I told you

The one cheap rose
The one shy smile
That you actually smiled back at

And that moment
That split second
My heart actually felt alive

Because I could feel it beating so loud
That I couldn't hear myself thinking over it

And I couldn't utter a breath before seeing you walk away with that rose in your hand
Even in the crowd I could still see your hair bouncing further and further
And it took me a while to realize I was still smiling
And that I held a cupcake in my hands

But I made it too obvious
I never intended for you to find out
But you did

That one message
Did no damage
Just yet because my brain was still so happy

They were honest
Your every word
But I couldn't comprehend it just yet

You said I wasn't too subtle about it
You said I was obvious enough

And I wish I knew back then the meaning of unrequited
Because I foolishly kept talking to you thinking you'd actually listen
But you were right to say we didn't know each other well
We were both afraid we'd hurt each other
At least I thought so

I guess it was too obvious
I never intended for you to find out
Not like this

That one tiny sentence
With twelve honest syllables
Was enough to turn your annoyance to distaste

I chose that class because
I saw you on the list
Was all I said to make you uncomfortable

You weren't wrong in calling me a creep for that
I guess I should have thought things through more

Stop thinking I am this great person when you don't know me
You're building me up to be something that I'm not
Stop messaging me before I end up hurting you
But I didn't listen...

It was too damn obvious
I never intended for this to happen
Because it broke me

You told me how you felt
You said you're uncomfortable
But I pushed on until I made you do it

You told me what was up
You told me about the issues
But I disregarded your pain and tried to show you mine

How could I expect a two-way street when I kept on pushing in one direction?
How could I be so blind to your gaping open wounds?

I realized far too late to make a difference anymore
I took up the promise you asked me to make a bit too late
Stop before I end up hurting you
I listened far too late to make the difference
Because I realized far too late that
Your uncomfortable was your hurt
And I only provided the salt for all your wounds to make you cry so much

And I thought that not seeing you for so long
Would help me forget the negativity
But seeing you again in your physical glory 
With your bouncing hair and cerulean eyes and megawatt smile
Brought everything back like a flood...

I'm neither a lover nor a fighter
So I'm finding it hard to keep optimistic about this
Buggy got crushed... Crushes do that. :/

This is my second attempt at writing from personal experience, and the first ever attempt at writing anything remotely romantic. Don't judge me. >__<"
That said, I wouldn't mind any constructive criticism if you have any. :)
Add a Comment:
 
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2014  Student Writer
Damn. I think this is pretty awesome, but damn, that experience sucks. 
I do like your changing repetition though ^^
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, it sucks. Still kinda hurts when I think about it, but nowhere near how it felt when it happened. But heck, it's in the past now. And I choose to live in the present, so it's all good. :)
I'm glad you like the repetition. I thought I went overboard with it. But I'm glad someone likes it. :D
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Student Writer
That's a damn good choice to make :D
It would've been overboard if it was the same lines over and over again, but the change made it nice :)
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm glad you think so. ^^;
You're right. Thanks. :)
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Student Writer
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
Reply
:iconblue-bell-boy:
Blue-Bell-Boy Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
I can see the picture you paint here, I really understand this.
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks man. You rock. :thumbsup:
Reply
:iconblue-bell-boy:
Blue-Bell-Boy Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
awesome, thanks man :D
Thanks for the fave :)  :happybounce: 
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem. :D
Reply
:icontwinsocks:
TwinSocks Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hmmmm where to start~ C:
okay i guess i'm happy to read something like that (a poem in general~)
i quite liked it, vizualizing it in my mind like a movie~
I have to say that what you told her does sound flattering but i'd agree on the fact that it does create expectations... o w o
but truth be told we all can be oblivious of that when we focus in the field of our interest thus not realizing it can't always go according to plan
but hey, at least you tried, you dared to move like it says in a song~ i think it's great that you did~
I like the words you used but i think you could cut down on the repetition a bit~
About the events and how you describe them, i'm actually glad you didn't walk with your ego held high ready to stone her~
You reacted fairly reasonable despite the bitterness it might have left you with~
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh man this reply is overdue. Sorry it's taken me this long to get back to you?
First of all, thanks for the wonderful comment. I really appreciate your kind words and critiques. I'll admit I did get carried away with the repetition there a bit. ^^;
I don't have much of an ego so it was kind of hard to open up in the first place. "Stoning her" would be out of the question either way anyways. I don't know, I guess I really wasn't thinking stuff through. ^^;
I guess stuff happens. But anyway, thanks again for the wonderful comment. ;)
Reply
:icontwinsocks:
TwinSocks Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
it's alright, no need to apologize~ i've had my extremely late reply moments too you know~
You're welcome~ c: haha just a little bit~
nah, you acted with your gutt and i think that was the right thing you did there~
You were completely honest and in the end that's what matters i believe~ 
it was a risk and you had the courage to go for it despite what could happen~ be proud of yourself~ 
others would hesitate but you decided to act! like they say, courage is acting with fear not without it~! ;) 
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Nope, I beat you. My reply is a month and a half late. My apology is definitely valid this time. ^^;
Thank you so much for your honest comment. :)
Reply
:icontwinsocks:
TwinSocks Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
and no no no no! it's too late to apologiiiiiiiiiize! 
man..... i just couldn't, you know? sorry x3
Also, YOU ARE ONLINE! imagine! what are the chances? xD
it's alright, it's been one tough month for me... exams and all that amazing things~ 
But they're over... i would put a song for reference to that but it's korean so..... 
anyway! how have you been? Were you busy with life and school?
btw isn't it summer there as well? don't you have a summer break too?
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha good times, bad times, you know I've had my share. (ref Led Zeppelin btw)

But yeah, I'm online. I hope you rocked your exams. Mine went better than expected. :D

What song were you going to reference that was Korean?

I've been good. Yeah, school was a pain. Parents hardly let me touch the computer. ^^;
And no, it's not summer here. It's meant to be winter but it's really rainy here. It usually doesn't rain too often in winter here so I don't know.
Reply
:icontwinsocks:
TwinSocks Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
yup, i do~ but the song i didn't~ not very familiar with their songs ^ ^'
Thank you! same  goes for you~ And yes, surprisingly i think i did pretty good~! :')
the song it's over by lee hi~  
well... it's partially expected~ THEY DO? my condolences! how do you survive? 
i'm an addict i admit! :P
but hey, my parents would let me play if they knew i had studied and had done my homework! = w ='
oh hey, you could always come to an aggreement with your parents about when and for how long you can use the internet! 
here, it's 5000 degrees... i'm actually melting! and i consume huge quantities of ice cream... companies should thank me!
i have no money left thanks to the weather! i'm not for summer except if i'm next to the beach! and have a ton of ice creams with me hehe xD
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That's fine haha. :D

That's good to hear! What grade are you in now then?

Oh don't worry I'm allowed on the computer for studying but that requires either my mum or my aunt stay in the room while I study on the computer. Apparently I'm one of those people who misuse their privileges once let looser from the leash. So my family keeps the leash tight when I have school on. But now I'm free for the next... five-ish weeks to use the computer however I do so please. Sorry for the rant... ^^;

I envy you... You get to help out dairy companies and you like it. X'D
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconhawkrider:
HawkRider Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
The greatest pain is the pain you get when you realise you've been ignoring the pain of someone you love in favour of your own.
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Truth hurts I guess.
Reply
:iconhawkrider:
HawkRider Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Definitely.
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Surely.
Reply
:iconhawkrider:
HawkRider Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Absolutely.
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Affirmative.
Reply
:iconhawkrider:
HawkRider Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Correct.
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Corrupt.
Reply
:iconthalianight:
ThaliaNight Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is wonderful...it feels so real and cute and a bit sad. In the end, it seems we always endup hurting those who we care about the most.
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That's because it is real. And you're right, it's a harsh truth. Thanks for your wonderful words. :)
Reply
:iconthalianight:
ThaliaNight Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome. Though I hope this didn't happen recently.
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, not too recently. But I still think it's going to be hard to forget...
Reply
:iconthalianight:
ThaliaNight Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I could tell from the way you really meant it when you thanked everyone.Hey, dont take it too hard on yourself. Things happen for a reason--even bad thins.
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I guess you're right. I really appreciate your kind words and support. Thank you. :D
Reply
:iconashes-mari3:
Ashes-Mari3 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I've done that before. 
Joined a class, because someone was in there that I was fascinated by. 
I never spoke up on it though,
I kept it to myself, 
because I was afraid that if I did,
it would kill my motivation. 
I was very bored with life when I was younger...so, I found people to be my outlet. 
Nicely done here. :heart: :rose: :blackrose: 
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're lucky you kept it to yourself. I'm stupid so I didn't think of that. ^^;
Thank you for the wonderful comment. :)
Reply
:iconashes-mari3:
Ashes-Mari3 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're not stupid. 
There were times when I wanted to say something, 
but didn't. 
I think that you were more confident then I was back then. 
You're welcome! (^-^)
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks. :)

See, I'm not usually a confident person, and it was fine by everyone including me. The one time I try to do it differently, it leaves me broken in more ways than just this...
So I'm pretty stupid. ^^;
Reply
:iconashes-mari3:
Ashes-Mari3 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
No, it just made you stronger. 
You don't realize it yet, 
but you will. :iconmnrthumbsupplz: 
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha, shucks~ :blushes:
Thanks! :huggle:
Reply
:iconashes-mari3:
Ashes-Mari3 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! Squish Hug 2 -  The Eye Poke 
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:XD: :aww:
Reply
:iconwishingdreamer5:
WishingDreamer5 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist
Wow, this is really really beautiful. By far my most favorite work of yours. It's probably because this feels more personal. It really pays off when a writer puts everything he has in a piece, like you did. :heart:
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much! I'm really glad you like it. :D
I guess you're right. A piece feels like it's paid off when the writer puts in a taste of something personal into it. :aww:
Reply
:iconhades-flower:
Hades-Flower Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014
Great stuff.  I like how it's personal yet universal - the best kind of writing, to me anyway. I can tell you spent a lot of time crafting this poem, honing it down from many memories and feelings. :hug:
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, I've been holding this one in for about a week before it started to hurt and I finally gave up and penned this down. Metaphorically, of course, because I typed this up. ;p
But thanks for the wonderful comment. I'm glad you consider writing like this to be of the best kind. I'll definitely try to write more like this. :D
Reply
:iconhades-flower:
Hades-Flower Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014
Well, it's beautiful. I can't even get this articulate about my situation, and I'm the one with the crush in my situation, too. I'm writing poems so short that it's like one drop of poison at a time, and I don't think it's healthy. And I'm tired. But with support like yours here, I'll get over it. Eventually. :)
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
At least you were trying to get the prison out of your system. I didn't know how I could get it out of mine.
I'm glad you consider me a friend here. Like I keep saying, my shoulder's always up if you want to vent out some steam or tears if it's that bad. I'll definitely try to keep supporting you as best I can. :)
Reply
:iconstarlightshoals:
StarlightShoals Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Student Writer
:huggle: I guess we all probably go through something like this...crushes are clumsy things.
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That's true... Thank you very much for the favourite and the wonderful comment. I'm so glad you like it. :D
Reply
:iconstarlightshoals:
StarlightShoals Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Student Writer
You're welcome~ :tighthug:
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:blushes:
Reply
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