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:iconsurvivingextinction: More from SurvivingExtinction


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Deviant Writings by Deviant Poets. by Ashes-Mari3

Favourite Poetry by iMariposa


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Submitted on
February 7
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I'm sorry I made it too obvious
I never intended for you to find out
Before I told you

The one cheap rose
The one shy smile
That you actually smiled back at

And that moment
That split second
My heart actually felt alive

Because I could feel it beating so loud
That I couldn't hear myself thinking over it

And I couldn't utter a breath before seeing you walk away with that rose in your hand
Even in the crowd I could still see your hair bouncing further and further
And it took me a while to realize I was still smiling
And that I held a cupcake in my hands

But I made it too obvious
I never intended for you to find out
But you did

That one message
Did no damage
Just yet because my brain was still so happy

They were honest
Your every word
But I couldn't comprehend it just yet

You said I wasn't too subtle about it
You said I was obvious enough

And I wish I knew back then the meaning of unrequited
Because I foolishly kept talking to you thinking you'd actually listen
But you were right to say we didn't know each other well
We were both afraid we'd hurt each other
At least I thought so

I guess it was too obvious
I never intended for you to find out
Not like this

That one tiny sentence
With twelve honest syllables
Was enough to turn your annoyance to distaste

I chose that class because
I saw you on the list
Was all I said to make you uncomfortable

You weren't wrong in calling me a creep for that
I guess I should have thought things through more

Stop thinking I am this great person when you don't know me
You're building me up to be something that I'm not
Stop messaging me before I end up hurting you
But I didn't listen...

It was too damn obvious
I never intended for this to happen
Because it broke me

You told me how you felt
You said you're uncomfortable
But I pushed on until I made you do it

You told me what was up
You told me about the issues
But I disregarded your pain and tried to show you mine

How could I expect a two-way street when I kept on pushing in one direction?
How could I be so blind to your gaping open wounds?

I realized far too late to make a difference anymore
I took up the promise you asked me to make a bit too late
Stop before I end up hurting you
I listened far too late to make the difference
Because I realized far too late that
Your uncomfortable was your hurt
And I only provided the salt for all your wounds to make you cry so much

And I thought that not seeing you for so long
Would help me forget the negativity
But seeing you again in your physical glory 
With your bouncing hair and cerulean eyes and megawatt smile
Brought everything back like a flood...

I'm neither a lover nor a fighter
So I'm finding it hard to keep optimistic about this
Buggy got crushed... Crushes do that. :/

This is my second attempt at writing from personal experience, and the first ever attempt at writing anything remotely romantic. Don't judge me. >__<"
That said, I wouldn't mind any constructive criticism if you have any. :)
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2014  Student Writer
Damn. I think this is pretty awesome, but damn, that experience sucks. 
I do like your changing repetition though ^^
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:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, it sucks. Still kinda hurts when I think about it, but nowhere near how it felt when it happened. But heck, it's in the past now. And I choose to live in the present, so it's all good. :)
I'm glad you like the repetition. I thought I went overboard with it. But I'm glad someone likes it. :D
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Student Writer
That's a damn good choice to make :D
It would've been overboard if it was the same lines over and over again, but the change made it nice :)
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm glad you think so. ^^;
You're right. Thanks. :)
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Student Writer
You're welcome :)
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:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
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:iconblue-bell-boy:
Blue-Bell-Boy Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
I can see the picture you paint here, I really understand this.
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:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks man. You rock. :thumbsup:
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:iconblue-bell-boy:
Blue-Bell-Boy Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
awesome, thanks man :D
Thanks for the fave :)  :happybounce: 
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem. :D
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