Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconsurvivingextinction: More from SurvivingExtinction


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
February 7
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
92
Favourites
10 (who?)
Comments
51
×
I'm sorry I made it too obvious
I never intended for you to find out
Before I told you

The one cheap rose
The one shy smile
That you actually smiled back at

And that moment
That split second
My heart actually felt alive

Because I could feel it beating so loud
That I couldn't hear myself thinking over it

And I couldn't utter a breath before seeing you walk away with that rose in your hand
Even in the crowd I could still see your hair bouncing further and further
And it took me a while to realize I was still smiling
And that I held a cupcake in my hands

But I made it too obvious
I never intended for you to find out
But you did

That one message
Did no damage
Just yet because my brain was still so happy

They were honest
Your every word
But I couldn't comprehend it just yet

You said I wasn't too subtle about it
You said I was obvious enough

And I wish I knew back then the meaning of unrequited
Because I foolishly kept talking to you thinking you'd actually listen
But you were right to say we didn't know each other well
We were both afraid we'd hurt each other
At least I thought so

I guess it was too obvious
I never intended for you to find out
Not like this

That one tiny sentence
With twelve honest syllables
Was enough to turn your annoyance to distaste

I chose that class because
I saw you on the list
Was all I said to make you uncomfortable

You weren't wrong in calling me a creep for that
I guess I should have thought things through more

Stop thinking I am this great person when you don't know me
You're building me up to be something that I'm not
Stop messaging me before I end up hurting you
But I didn't listen...

It was too damn obvious
I never intended for this to happen
Because it broke me

You told me how you felt
You said you're uncomfortable
But I pushed on until I made you do it

You told me what was up
You told me about the issues
But I disregarded your pain and tried to show you mine

How could I expect a two-way street when I kept on pushing in one direction?
How could I be so blind to your gaping open wounds?

I realized far too late to make a difference anymore
I took up the promise you asked me to make a bit too late
Stop before I end up hurting you
I listened far too late to make the difference
Because I realized far too late that
Your uncomfortable was your hurt
And I only provided the salt for all your wounds to make you cry so much

And I thought that not seeing you for so long
Would help me forget the negativity
But seeing you again in your physical glory 
With your bouncing hair and cerulean eyes and megawatt smile
Brought everything back like a flood...

I'm neither a lover nor a fighter
So I'm finding it hard to keep optimistic about this
Buggy got crushed... Crushes do that. :/

This is my second attempt at writing from personal experience, and the first ever attempt at writing anything remotely romantic. Don't judge me. >__<"
That said, I wouldn't mind any constructive criticism if you have any. :)
Add a Comment:
 
:iconblue-bell-boy:
Blue-Bell-Boy Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  New member Student Traditional Artist
I can see the picture you paint here, I really understand this.
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks man. You rock. :thumbsup:
Reply
:iconblue-bell-boy:
Blue-Bell-Boy Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  New member Student Traditional Artist
awesome, thanks man :D
Thanks for the fave :)  :happybounce: 
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem. :D
Reply
:icontwinsocks:
TwinSocks Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hmmmm where to start~ C:
okay i guess i'm happy to read something like that (a poem in general~)
i quite liked it, vizualizing it in my mind like a movie~
I have to say that what you told her does sound flattering but i'd agree on the fact that it does create expectations... o w o
but truth be told we all can be oblivious of that when we focus in the field of our interest thus not realizing it can't always go according to plan
but hey, at least you tried, you dared to move like it says in a song~ i think it's great that you did~
I like the words you used but i think you could cut down on the repetition a bit~
About the events and how you describe them, i'm actually glad you didn't walk with your ego held high ready to stone her~
You reacted fairly reasonable despite the bitterness it might have left you with~
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh man this reply is overdue. Sorry it's taken me this long to get back to you?
First of all, thanks for the wonderful comment. I really appreciate your kind words and critiques. I'll admit I did get carried away with the repetition there a bit. ^^;
I don't have much of an ego so it was kind of hard to open up in the first place. "Stoning her" would be out of the question either way anyways. I don't know, I guess I really wasn't thinking stuff through. ^^;
I guess stuff happens. But anyway, thanks again for the wonderful comment. ;)
Reply
:icontwinsocks:
TwinSocks Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
it's alright, no need to apologize~ i've had my extremely late reply moments too you know~
You're welcome~ c: haha just a little bit~
nah, you acted with your gutt and i think that was the right thing you did there~
You were completely honest and in the end that's what matters i believe~ 
it was a risk and you had the courage to go for it despite what could happen~ be proud of yourself~ 
others would hesitate but you decided to act! like they say, courage is acting with fear not without it~! ;) 
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Nope, I beat you. My reply is a month and a half late. My apology is definitely valid this time. ^^;
Thank you so much for your honest comment. :)
Reply
:icontwinsocks:
TwinSocks Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
and no no no no! it's too late to apologiiiiiiiiiize! 
man..... i just couldn't, you know? sorry x3
Also, YOU ARE ONLINE! imagine! what are the chances? xD
it's alright, it's been one tough month for me... exams and all that amazing things~ 
But they're over... i would put a song for reference to that but it's korean so..... 
anyway! how have you been? Were you busy with life and school?
btw isn't it summer there as well? don't you have a summer break too?
Reply
:iconsurvivingextinction:
SurvivingExtinction Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha good times, bad times, you know I've had my share. (ref Led Zeppelin btw)

But yeah, I'm online. I hope you rocked your exams. Mine went better than expected. :D

What song were you going to reference that was Korean?

I've been good. Yeah, school was a pain. Parents hardly let me touch the computer. ^^;
And no, it's not summer here. It's meant to be winter but it's really rainy here. It usually doesn't rain too often in winter here so I don't know.
Reply
Add a Comment: